Something happened this morning that upset me. I am going to share but it is very difficult subject. I've gone back and forth about sharing this and I've decided it is an important topic that needs to be talked about.
I left my children upstairs unsupervised for a quick minute to grab something downstairs. On my way back up I got distracted by the computer. This Facebook video of some drummers caught my eye and since it was only 3.5 minutes long AND I could hear the children laughing and getting along upstairs I decided to watch it.
After the video I proceeded upstairs to sneak up on and scare my children. Trust me, they love it. I heard them laughing and talking behind a closed door. When I threw open the door and shouted "Boo!" I was the one who was horrified.
Children, particularly my children, enjoy feeling free from the restriction of clothing. Innocent fun or not however, their behavior was inappropriate.
I have talked to my kids in the past about their bodies, particularly about having personal parts that are not to be shared with others. Even my two year old has at least some understanding that she has private parts. However, today I realized my kids do not fully understand what that means.
As unsettled as I was to discover my children in their particular state I was glad I had a teaching opportunity to talk to them again about their bodies and what is and is not appropriate.
I believe it is never too early, or late for that matter, to start talking to our kids about their bodies and keeping it safe. Likewise, this is not just a one time conversation we should have. We should check in regularly with our children as a reminder and an opportunity to expand their understanding. As they grow their understanding will mature and they will be able to comprehend more.
Unfortunately most sexual abuse cases against children are from people the child knows and are encouraged to trust. I know a woman who as a little girl was abused by her uncle. I also know another person who for years was abused by a close family friend. It is sad and unfortunately true. Despite our best efforts we cannot always be there to protect our kids. The best thing we can do for our children is to empower them with knowledge.
Now I am not suggesting we all go grab our children right now and instill in them terror and fear of everyone around them. Find an opportunity to bring it up naturally, like bath time, potty time, or any time they are changing their clothes. Make a comment about how we all have personal body parts that are meant just for ourselves. That other people do not need to touch these areas and we should not touch other people in these areas. Then give your child an opportunity to add to the conversation. If not, leave it at that. Simple. Not scary.
You know your child. You know what they can handle and how they learn. Tell them in a way they will understand.
Dance, Dance and more Dance
7 years ago
3 comments:
Recently I've been reading the book "And they were not Ashamed" by Laura M. Brotherson. She is an LDS marriage and sexual intimacy counselor. In this book there are some great resources for parents, teaching our children about their bodies. I highly recommend it.
Great advice. I have been trying to remind my three-year-old about it, since she of course has no qualms about running from her bedroom to the bathroom with no clothes on. Although the past few times I've seen her, she's had underwear on, so I guess we're improving little by little.
And since we never know where a potential threat lies with regards to inappropriate behavior coming from other adults, we talk about 'tricky people' instead of 'strangers'. My oldest seems to understand that tricky people could be someone they know, but I think it's still a foreign concept. Which is why we continue to talk about it, especially when they bring it up.
Ohh I love the phrase "tricky people," I am going to steal that one from you and use it with my kids. We have a Winnie The Pooh book which explains stranger danger really well so we've used the word "stranger" and it hasn't frightened our children but stranger danger and sexual predators are completely different subjects. Thank you!
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