As I was packing my hospital bag these past two weeks it finally hit me that baby girl could come any day. Holding those tiny outfits was a surreal experience. My first thoughts were "am I really going to be dressing a person this small," followed by "did Spencer really fit in this?"
As excited as I am to hold my little girl part of me is sad that life will no longer be just me, daddy, and Spencer. Spencer is my buddy. I like giving him my full attention and I'm afraid that once baby gets here I'll be too tired or emotional to play with him. I don't want Spencer to feel left out or like I love him less just because his sister needs a lot of attention.
I hope I can still be the momma he needs me to be as a mother of two.
3 comments:
I so remember feeling the same way--and believe it or not, the love just increases to go around. Now as a grandmother of 15, I can't wait for more kids to love!!! Good luck!!!
It is hard, but I can see already that a sibling is the best gift I could possibly give Benjamin. Sacrificing sleep/sanity/comfort was difficult the first time, but this time I feel that I am sacrificing so that Ben and Amelia have each other. He misses me, I know he does, and I miss him like crazy, but soon he'll have a friend for life!
Hang in there Rachel, it will all work out.
You're such a great Momma Rachel, I know that you'll be great as a mother of 2 and that Spencer will be fine.
When I was pregnant with Josh (2nd) I honestly found this philosophy of enough love to go around business very alien. In my mind I was thinking, but I love Seth with all my heart, how could I love another - almost like I'd be 'cheating' on my son (as weird as that may sound) and I found it hard to believe that I could love another child as much and still love Seth the same. But, it's a miracle - it happened, and it made me think about Heavenly Father's love for us. Although it's on a much larger scale - He has Billions of children and somehow manages to love us all and have time for us all. So of course - as parents here on earth - we are designed to be the same. The love increases over and over with however many children you have and I have found that I manage my time better now that I have 3 than I ever did when I had 1 - and I think that's through the learning and growth you do as a mother and as a person.
Oh Rach - come back! Apply for a 3 year tour next time - we miss you! x
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